


Please Excuse My Hands

by Mrs_Monaghan



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Co-workers, Humor, Ian is shameless, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 16:25:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14500947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_Monaghan/pseuds/Mrs_Monaghan
Summary: Please excuse my hands,They just wanna touch,They just wanna feel,They don't mean no harm,Baby, just excuse my hands.





	Please Excuse My Hands

**Author's Note:**

> i was typing up _Unrequited Love_ while listening to this song, and couldn't stop picturing this scenario in my head. it was super funny to me and i legit found myself laughing so of course i had to put my thoughts to words.
> 
> Enjoy!!!

Mickey doesn’t understand.

He really doesn’t.

Okay so Ian is his co-worker, of course he doesn’t know that Mickey is Southside. But that aside, Mickey's demeanor should be able to convey that he is not to be fucked with. Other people at work seem to get it. With his tattoos and his fuck-off personality they all keep their distance unless its completely necessary.

But no, not Ian. That stupid redhead is not the least bit scared of him. Not when Mickey snaps at him. Not when he scowls and glares at him. Not when Mickey outright tells him to cut it out!

What does Mickey keep telling Ian to stop you ask?

Well, Ian fucking Gallagher has this habit of spanking and touching and squeezing Mickey's _ass_ whenever he's not looking. He takes every chance he can to come into contact with Mickey's behind. Its an outrageous habit, even for Mickey. The brunet doesn’t even know when it started, all he knows is that he has to always keep an eye out for the redhead so he can either run, or threaten to punch him. Which is the only way to avoid Ian's hands on his ass. In that moment _only_. Because when he's not looking he will feel that smack against one of his butt cheeks and then Ian is running off, glee on his face and laughter on his lips.

Its mind boggling.

Like right now, Mickey is by the photocopy machine waiting for his ten copies when he feels a hand on his ass and then a light squeeze. “God dammit Ian.”

“Please excuse my hands Mick, they mean no harm.” The redhead says then walks backwards and out the door with a humongous smile on his face.

Mickey just sighs and lays his head on his arms on the copier machine. He then realizes this way his ass on perfect display and he quickly straightens up.

Fucking Ian.

 

**% %**

 

During lunch, Mickey has just bitten into a banana when Ian drops next to him. The brunet sighs and glares at the redhead. “What do you want?”

“If I'm being honest, to squeeze on your behind.” Mickey drops his fruit and turns his whole body to look at him.

“See, that. Why do you always do that? We are at fucking work, do you even know the meaning of inappropriate?”

Ian picks up the displaced banana and licks the top before pushing it into his mind and biting into it excruciatingly slow. Mickey looks away. “I do.” He chews and puts the banana back down. “It ain’t my fault Mick. My hands are the ones to blame.”

Is this guy serious? “Are you hearing yourself right now?”

Ian smirks at him and Mickey is starting to see why he has never actually punched the guy for his behavior. Ian is kind of beautiful.

“You should let me massage it for you baby.”

“Don’t call me that! We hardly know each other.”

“Only because you won't let me.”

But before Mickey can gather a retort Ian is already standing and walking away.

“Fucking unbelievable.”

 

**% %**

Standing by his car, Mickey accidentally drops his keys and bends to pick them up. He shouldn’t, but he's surprised when he feels a loud spank on his ass. “Motherfucker!”

Ian just casually leans on the car and crosses his arms, beaming.

“Why?” Mickey lifts and drops his hands.

“I apologise Mickey. They have a mind of their own.” Ian makes a show of raising and inspecting both hands before wiggling his fingers. “A one track mind.” Mickey gives him an exasperated look and Ian gives one back. “Have you seen your ass?” he asks instead. “You have the best ass I've ever seen on a guy. Its so round, and perfect and so… round.” He finishes, by tilting his head to try and look at said ass. Mickey also tilts his body so the object of Ian's desire isn’t visible to him. “And not to mention soft.” The redhead adds.

“Ian.”

“No, I'm serious.” Ian says and he does look serious. For once. “If a day ends and I haven’t touched that gorgeous behind, I don’t feel the same. It makes my day.”

Mickey chuckles and shakes his head. “You're serious, aren't you?”

“Yep. Before I kiss or hold you I wanna touch.”

Mickey raises an eyebrow. “What makes you think you’re ever gonna kiss or hold me? Especially after how you’ve molested my ass all this time?”

“Please excuse my hands Mick.” Ian gets as close as he can and whispers in his ear; “With my hands I can make you do a lot of things.”

Mickey unsuccessfully tries to cover up a shudder. “So all the ass touching is you hitting on me.”

“That, and I just wanna leave my fingerprints on that bubble butt.” He goes ahead and spanks it one more time. “See you tomorrow.”

Mickey watches him leave, wondering what exactly he's going to do about the guy.

 

**% %**

 

“What will it take?” Mickey approaches Ian's desk and sits on it.

“Good morning Mick.” Ian tilts his head and glances at Mickey's ass. “What's what gonna take?”

“For you to stop randomly touching my ass at work.”

Ian leans back, tapping his chin with a pen and pretending to think. “That’s easy, a date.”

Mickey glares at him. “I don’t do dates.”

Ian nods and goes back to typing on his computer. “That’s too bad.”

“Ian.”

“I love touching your ass. If you want me to stop then that’s what I want.”

Mickey coughs to cover up the smile that’s forming on his face. “Fine.” Ian is grinning so loudly its blinding. “Calm down Gallagher, its just a date.”

Ian doesn’t say anything. Just keeps smiling.

“Just,” Mickey starts and Ian raises a curious eyebrow. “don’t stop spanking me outside of work.” He mumbles.

Ian gives him that cocky smirk of his. “Now it makes sense why I've been able to get away with it for so long.”

“Shut up!” Mickey stands and leaves.

“I hate to see you go Mick, but I sure love to watch you leave.”

Mickey flips Ian off with both hands and can't help but chuckle at the loud unabashed laughter he receives in return.

**Author's Note:**

> he he he heee!  
> Asante kwa kusoma. 
> 
> song----> _Please excuse my hands_ by Plies feat Jamie Foxx and The Dream


End file.
